Home

• Posted on 28th April 2023
• in This-n-that
• by Dragonfly

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Home is what you make of it. It doesn’t matter the walls or the land. It can be an apartment, house or tent. It is your space to love and live. Hopefully there is more laughter than heartbreak.

I’ve had my share of both laughter and heartbreak. I started in my parents home. (As most all of us did) I couldn’t Wait to get out on my own! I was ready! Or so I thought. I moved into an apartment. I’ll spare you the details and ended In another and yet another. Eventually landing in a trailer where i started my little family.

My new boyfriend walked into my life with 2 children and me getting ready to have his 3rd. That turned into one after another quickly and a new house built from the ground up with the help of our hands.

Our house had many “adopted” children come and go. But the core 5 are what my heart tried to make sure I gave all to.

I’m no perfect parent. But i sacrificed. I’m sure they don’t see it. How could they. They didn’t live my life. They were busy living theirs. As it should be.

I didn’t finish college. I got a cert. In order to work……for them. I kept a home on a schedule, for them. I got them to school and to sports, for them. I got them to PT, speech, psychology, and OT. I made fund raiders happen buy buying all the needed things so they could make xyz and raise money with it. I made more things than i can count for them to give away. I feel like i did the best i could with what tools I had.

And that’s all I could offer.

As they move forward as adults. Start their own families and lives my prayer for them, as they give all to the future children they have, is this.

Is that their children are able to see their sacrifices and love them for it. To understand they are human and will make mistakes and their children will be able to accept an apology. That their children be wise enough to ask for the apology when it’s needed and that they the parent be wise enough to listen.

I can promise you this my beautiful 5. Being a parent and being an adult are the hardest jobs you will ever have. You couldn’t wait to be out in the world (just as I couldn’t) now that you are there, when the going gets tough, I’ll always be here.

I’ll Still be wrong. I’ll still be fallible. I still won’t have the answers. I’ll still make you angry. I’ll still say upsetting things. I’ll still be a jerk face.

But

I’ll still love you unconditionally. I’ll listen to what you need to say. I’ll still have an opinion. I’ll still make you food. I’ll still read a book to you. I’ll still hug you. Most of all I’ll still love you unconditionally. Even when you can’t

You have all been the center of my world for 25 years. I’ve done everything i could to be what you needed. May you be able to do the same for your future wives/husband/children.

And if you never want to see my face again. That’s your choice. May you know i still love you and I won’t bother you until you’re ready.

DF OUT