So we are home… and for good this time. We are working on getting the Pecking order back into alighnment with the children. It has been a fight but we are getting there… slowly but surly Al the kids were affected but I am thinking that it was boy #1 that was the worst off. He decided that steeling and Lying was going to be his pass time. I knew that as far as the steeling went the Principle did more to him than we could. And It is over now. That part he has to take up with God latter… Not for me to deal with or to judge. But …. the Lying… it hasn’t quite.

He now has to earn the trust back. I explained that every time he lies it adds more time on to the amount of time it takes to gain trust again. So … we have even more lying. I am to the point that I believe nothing anymore. That works right. Just like the judicial system. Guilty till said innocent with proof of course.

I have had a heavy heart since we have been home. I know that this next week we will not be going back to the BIG city. Sounds funny. But I received a call today about my dear friend in the prov house. She is there with her we lil babes. They are in the NICU…. I didn’t realize this .. but the little encouragement notes that I think nothing of ( thank you mom for the gift of that) … was holding her together. I didn’t realize how much Hubby and I being next door to her was the thing that made her feel like she was at home and not alone. She was the same for us. A little piece of home in a far away place. Someone… that even though you didn’t reach out to say… I NEED YOU … I NEED A SHOLDRE to cry on….But she … we …. were there JUST in CASE!

Now that I am gone from her… and she from us. I realize with a heavy heart how much I needed her… and I know she feels that she needed us. I am thankful that I was there for her…. the notes will note stop only because I am a short distance away…. I have a friend that will be helping me get the bigger things to her. I always have my ways. I will send one every few days. I am thankful that I had the time to love her. AND most of all her babies. She even let me go in and sit with them. Touch them. Take pictures and video…. Most of all. I got to watch a young woman Love HER babies… kiss them… and tell them over and over how much she loved them.

Dearie…. if your mommie shows you were this is…. You are an amazing woman. ONLY NICU moms know what you are doing…and how you are feeling. I love you… I know … I feel…. and I have Done… Most of all… you have grown so much in such a short time. Others… ( I wont say normal because we are normal too just a different normal) they are already thinking about the 3 month things that babies are doing… like starting to learn how to control their arms. And you are still trying to work on the stress pattern of a wee tot that is only 3 pounds. You are making it all work… and you are so strong … you have Micro preemie…. the rules are a little different but you…. you are doing so WELL! I am PROUD TO Call you my friend.

DF OUT

Posted: November 11th, 2006 under This-n-that.
Comments: 3

We are all so excited. So you know I cannot read the screen. someone has done somethign to it here… and the writing is less than a Mill…. and there is no way to check what I have written. Soo bare with me. the spelling as well……

 Hubby and I are doing wonderful. we have spent the last 2 days with Hubby’s dad as he is up here right now. He is staying in a shwanky hotel and we went to look at the digs. HOLY COW is it nice. Than always back to the hospital.;….. But …. Tomorrow…… that ENDS!!!!!!! we will walk over for the last time. say hello for the last time. we will say goodbye for the first time… and be happy/ sad about it. I sit here in tears already. there are so many we will miss. Peaopl int he prov house… to people in the cancer therepy… patients mostely. as you have all pryaed for my husband … And look what the prayers have done…. I now ask that you turn your hearts to a woman that you have not met. a woman and her husband have captured our hearts. Flo and Mel. Flo has a strong cancer. she has not shared which… jsut that she is int he rare .01% of people int he world that has not one type BUT 2. Her heart has to be drained every week or two and the cancer is now there as well. it stated int he medisinum like Tims and she is spreading. in only a few weeks she will finnish her rad. than from there…. it seems as though she will have to reavaluate. Find out weather this has all been worth it. Her 40 year old son just flew into spend time with his mommla. He is suck a sweet man. and we were lucky to be blessed with his presence before we left.

 I will miss them both. It is the light of my heart to be able to sit with her and Mel int he morning and do puzzles and giggle. I cry because I have watched to many people go from cancer…. even since we have been up here. BUT even more have survived. I ask for prayers for her and her familly. HIS will be done. I have asked that. But I have also asked for his mercy. I wish for them all comfort and love. Just pray and she and I will be writing each other….. letters the OLD WAY. I am excited about that. I havnt had a pin pal in years. As I am givin updates …. i Will pass them on. please just pray

We wil be home in the afternoon. I will get on here on Saturday. Till than … we are still alive. and HAPPY….. Hubby is sick but he will be getting better SO SOON!…. THANK YOU GOD…. for blessing me with another 50-60 years with this man. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Posted: November 9th, 2006 under This-n-that.
Comments: none

Hubby…. he is doing well. his treatments are moving right along. Although his esophogial burns are really getting to him now. I have jsut gotten a swallow stuff to numb it. I really hope it works for him. Because as of now… he has ONLY had cottage cheese to eat… and a little shake I made up for him. He will loose all that weight that I got on him if He keeps this up….. anyway …we will get through it I am sure.

 The kdis got a surprise yesterday…. we came home for a few hours just to take them out trik or treating. what a treat it was. More for hubby and I than anything… the ride home was long and dark but we made it just fine.t hank you to all of you that made that possable … you know who you are. and we…. my hubby children and I are all extremly thankfull for it.

Kepp all of us in your prayers we only have another 10 days than we are home again for good… THANK YOU GOD…. than we will be getting back to life again. I am looking forward to LIVING!

DF OUT

Posted: November 1st, 2006 under This-n-that.
Comments: 1