So we are home… and for good this time. We are working on getting the Pecking order back into alighnment with the children. It has been a fight but we are getting there… slowly but surly Al the kids were affected but I am thinking that it was boy #1 that was the worst off. He decided that steeling and Lying was going to be his pass time. I knew that as far as the steeling went the Principle did more to him than we could. And It is over now. That part he has to take up with God latter… Not for me to deal with or to judge. But …. the Lying… it hasn’t quite.

He now has to earn the trust back. I explained that every time he lies it adds more time on to the amount of time it takes to gain trust again. So … we have even more lying. I am to the point that I believe nothing anymore. That works right. Just like the judicial system. Guilty till said innocent with proof of course.

I have had a heavy heart since we have been home. I know that this next week we will not be going back to the BIG city. Sounds funny. But I received a call today about my dear friend in the prov house. She is there with her we lil babes. They are in the NICU…. I didn’t realize this .. but the little encouragement notes that I think nothing of ( thank you mom for the gift of that) … was holding her together. I didn’t realize how much Hubby and I being next door to her was the thing that made her feel like she was at home and not alone. She was the same for us. A little piece of home in a far away place. Someone… that even though you didn’t reach out to say… I NEED YOU … I NEED A SHOLDRE to cry on….But she … we …. were there JUST in CASE!

Now that I am gone from her… and she from us. I realize with a heavy heart how much I needed her… and I know she feels that she needed us. I am thankful that I was there for her…. the notes will note stop only because I am a short distance away…. I have a friend that will be helping me get the bigger things to her. I always have my ways. I will send one every few days. I am thankful that I had the time to love her. AND most of all her babies. She even let me go in and sit with them. Touch them. Take pictures and video…. Most of all. I got to watch a young woman Love HER babies… kiss them… and tell them over and over how much she loved them.

Dearie…. if your mommie shows you were this is…. You are an amazing woman. ONLY NICU moms know what you are doing…and how you are feeling. I love you… I know … I feel…. and I have Done… Most of all… you have grown so much in such a short time. Others… ( I wont say normal because we are normal too just a different normal) they are already thinking about the 3 month things that babies are doing… like starting to learn how to control their arms. And you are still trying to work on the stress pattern of a wee tot that is only 3 pounds. You are making it all work… and you are so strong … you have Micro preemie…. the rules are a little different but you…. you are doing so WELL! I am PROUD TO Call you my friend.

DF OUT

Posted: November 11th, 2006 under This-n-that.
Comments: 3